1. Leading is not easy. 

If it was easy, everyone would be a leader. But alas, it is not. There are various courses, classes, and workshops to teach, strengthen, and sharpen leadership skills such as communication, problem solving, people management, delegation, and teamwork. CEOs, owners, directors, managers, and everyone in between commit themselves to meeting with others in leadership positions to make each other better and, honestly, to vent—because they all know that the job is hard, that there is not one right way, and that there are always going to be new problems.  This is why we have mentors as we climb the ladder, a board, or a similar group, for support, and advisors on various levels. We have them to provide help and guidance, to provide different perspectives and solutions, and sometimes just to relate

2. Others involved are humans too.

You’ll have to forgive my bluntness on this one. People die. People get sick. Everyone has a thousand other things going on. Everyone has different priorities, different raisings, different values, and different goals. Not everyone is going to afford you the same courtesies, efforts, explanations, or graces that you extend to them. And that sucks. Commonly you’ll find communication will be lacking. In these situations, it may be best to take action to a lesser degree than what you want because at the end of the day you still have to sleep with your decision if it comes out later that something horrible happened. The point is, you often do not know the whole story. This does not diminish the frustration on your end regarding the parts that you do know, but it is important to keep in mind.

3. You know your motivations and your purpose. 

There are always going to be adversaries. It is important to remember why you started, what your goals are, and the reasons behind all of your actions. Your end all be all, this is what you will have to fall back on, and reminding yourself of these foundations can renew your motivation and give you the extra push you need to get through the day. 

4. Someone out there appreciates your effort. 

There will be times when you feel like every action is misunderstood or your contributions are unnoticed. But the fact of the matter is that, as the leader and the person responsible for motivating everyone else, you may very well be forgotten as someone who also needs encouragement. That being said, just because no one says anything to praise—or even acknowledge—your efforts does not mean that no one notices them. Whether it’s a team member, a supervisor, a mentor, a significant other, a friend, or someone else, somebody knows the effort you are putting in and how much you care about your organization. And if you truly feel as though no one appreciates you, see Reminder 3 above! 🙂.

5. You are gaining from this. 

You are learning from everything—every win, every loss, every hiccup, every happy coincidence, every mistake, every connection. You are learning new skills, trade practices, personal traits, and coping or adjustment mechanisms. You are gaining experiences that you will be able to look back on later, for your own benefit or the benefit of someone else, and that is valuable and worth appreciating. 

6. It is okay to feel tired and defeated. 

I’ll say it again. It is okay to feel tired and defeated. Sometimes the best medicine is to eat a snack and take a nap. Go to sleep and start again in the morning. It is unreasonable to expect yourself to function at full capacity all of the time for everyone. No one expects greatness every second of the day, and honestly, if you are already stressed and feeling like you have messed up, most likely pushing yourself to this standard is only going to cause more problems. It is okay to feel tired and defeated. Take a break, get your mind right, and come back stronger later. 

7. These maxims can be hard to remember…and even harder to implement.

If I may be so bold as to assume, if you are reading this, you are likely type-A, goal-driven, highly motivated, independent, and strongly averse to making mistakes. While you likely understand these seven reminders and know that they represent truths, they are hard to apply in the moment. This is especially true because at one point or another you probably got to where you are by pushing through the weariness, frustration, and difficulties. Even writing Reminder 6 felt a little hypocritical because I know that when all else fails, I am the last person to give myself any leeway. These reminders are all easier said than done. That does not mean though, that they are not nice to hear or that committing them to writing has no purpose. Among other things, sometimes all you need is a reminder that you can cut yourself some slack, even if you do not actually do so.